The 500-Lb. Film Critic: The Dark Knight

I finally got off my duff and walked into the late night Sunday screening of The Dark Knight. I did not watch it in IMAX, I will have to go see it in IMAX soon. Here are some thoughts I've had in the last day since I watched TDK.

1. Why does Christian Bale in the Batsuit sound like Little Nicky when he speaks?

2. If Coleman Reese is on TV saying he knows who Batman is, and is known as being an employee of Wayne Enterprises...um, wouldn't somebody have figured out 2 plus 2 on that one?

3. Heath Ledger as the Joker: as good as advertised. I still chuckle at the "pencil-disappearing scene."

4. This movie only proves that Joel Schumacher is a bigger douche than previously realized, especially given Michael Caine's portrayal of butler Alfred. Joel Schumacher had Arthur dying in "Batman & Robin". And the batnipples, too. Ugh. The Christopher Nolan reboot was a great idea.

5. If the reboot is a great idea, then how come I can't remember watching Batman Begins even though I borrowed it from a friend. I must have watched it, it was before I had home internet.

6. However, had David Cronenberg directed this film, I would've thrown up my popcorn.

7. So what happens next? Do you re-cast the Joker? You can't reboot the Joker. Whoever is cast would have to be Heath Ledger's Joker. I would say Hugh Laurie would make a great choice, but he's twenty years older than Ledger. Makeup is good, but would Laurie want to take on a role where someone else (Ledger) did the legwork.

8. Internet rumor has Philip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin, but Nolan has pooh-poohed the idea of the Penguin in this series of films. Perhaps it's because of the Penguin's cartoony vibe, but it might also have something to do with the backstory of the Penguin: unlike many other Batman enemies, he isn't insane. Two-Face, driven mad. Riddler, driven mad. The Joker? Mad and we don't know why. Penguin, as scarred emotionally as he is, is still relatively well-adjusted and that won't vibe in the Nolan-style Batuniverse.

9. I am going to pin Harry Knowles down and shit in his mouth. Why? I flipped a coin. Heads, no poo-poo. He got tails.